wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
