haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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