the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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