I have demons in me.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
