Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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