I wish life had little blips of pornography
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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