I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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