You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
