I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
