some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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