I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
