Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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