There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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