Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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