So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
