I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
