none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize