so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
