whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just tell him i said nine months
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
