i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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