Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize