at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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