We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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