Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
