i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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