I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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