The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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