Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
