I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he shaved USA in his pubs
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
