Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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