I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Randomize
