At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
