So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Duck Duck Cougar?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
