you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
