It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize