i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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