How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
