nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
no more duck duck goose at the bar
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
