girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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