Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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