The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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