i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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