Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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