Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
