great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
