Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
