I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
