we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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