the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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