Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
