good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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