I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
