Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
