uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Its about making memories worth repressing
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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