none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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