I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
