with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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