I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
