He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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