I just made out with a guy for $7.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
