Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
