I want to make a zoo with you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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