So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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