the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
