lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
