so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
