the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
