I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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