What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
