He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize