I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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