Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
