I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
