Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Bring me that man meat
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
