I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
